Most Boring Post Ever
It occurred to me this morning that I really need to start taking better care of myself.
I think because I have never crossed over the lines of complete self abuse I've given myself a get out of jail free card. I mean, I never developed a heroin habit, right?
Seriously though, the little abuses add up. At this age they do. The chronic lack of sleep. The complete chaos of my living space. The stress of always feeling a little bit behind on... everything. The unpredictable alternating between skipped meals and somewhat healthy meals and baskets of french fries too late at night. The drinks, too often.
Does everyone live their life this way?
Technically - I've had the last two months off. As far as theatrical pursuits. But I haven't felt like there has been an actual break. Somehow that's my doing.
Things are only going to get more complex over the next three months. There will be decisions to make, shows to mount, day jobs to endure, schedules to juggle, rent to pay, exes to run into, friendships to maintain. Don't get me wrong - some of that stuff is great stuff. Some of it, not so much. But it is all going to co-exist, inevitably, often awkwardly, sometimes painfully - crammed together in this hodgepodge that is life.
posted by SAS @ 1:01 PM
10 comments
10 Comments:
We all have our moments of burnout. Mine was over some stupid headshots...but it was really because the stress I endure is getting to me---commuting like a sardine daily, working at a mundane job to pay my rent, squeezing in martial arts (and become sore in the process), and feeling confined where I live (renting a space in someone else's home instead of having my own space). It's tough!
But look up, for things will get better...and easier!
My housemate's solution to the chaos of living-space issue is to buy things at the container store. Most of the time she returns them but we always have at least one bag of freshly-minted plastic/wicker/fabric storage boxes/bags/hangythingys in our apartment, waiting to be used. I'm not entirely sure it helps, but they sure are fun.
my mom would say eat some vegetables and turn off your phone & get in bed at 10, even if you are not asleep until much later.
had a great time at the reading, that 'skin so soft' bit is my favorite. and the drug kids in refrigerators.
When you get back in town we will drink and talk about books.
Why is your font getting smaller with each post?
you know what would help? felicity. and spinach artichoke dip. and vitamin water. staying out too late is bad.
As I age, I notice that I cannot do all of it anymore, the naughtiness hurts much worse than it did before.
But also, as I age, I revel in choosing the naughtiness because I know I need a little chaos to keep it interesting.
GS - I am beginning to think that things will get easier (which is different from better) only if I initiate some changes. Until I do that, I do think that things will stay the course as they have. This is not a BAD thing per se, it only means I will continue this really slap dash way of living.
Gwen - The Container Store may be a great idea. Hmmm. Yes, I loved the drug kids. Little details - so specific - in that script.
HPMelon - I'm liking Ahab's Wife more, after the crazy sea journey and now that she finally got it on with Kit. Sex makes everything better. Drinking and talking will be very good.
mb - staying out late is only bad when I realize later the stupid, stupid things I said to cute playwright after three drinks on an almost empty stomach. Oh man, he must have been like, "What have I gotten myself into? Will these chicks EVER stop talking about Felicity?!" Oh cute playwright, don't be so quick to judge. Felicity will warm you too if you give it a chance! Move beyond season one. See past the haircut.
But WHY do I let myself become such a dingbat in situations where I should present myself at least SOMEWHAT professionally? Or at least do my best not to sound like a complete idiot? Really.
Playful - I love the idea that we need some chaos. I just think that at my age I still have a little too much chaos.
no no, my lovely sas. (i write this as i watch episode 3 of season 3...so long, Julie, you dumb bitch). and i believe that it was me who was seriously pondering the music in the background of 80's sitcoms. you were just fine.
have a super thanksgiving!! when will you be back to play?
Everyone I know lives their life that way. And we pay a price. A visit to the doctor recently proved that to me. You take care of yourself or I will figurtivly kick your ass. I love tough love.
I totally feel what you are saying here. I go a good three months of eating 3 meals a day....healthy meals...then one incident of extreme stress, and I spiral into one meal of crap a day and 3 mountain dews(not to mention the cigarettes). It's hard to keep up with "oh! i have to be healthy and oh! I have to be organized and oh! i have to worry about a freakin retirement package and paying off debt and working at a job doesn't kill me and fuck! I have to look good in case I run into my ex tonight and shit! i just said the strangest thing to that person while I was drunk etc, etc, etc."
So...as I would tell myself...one thing at a time, which is nearly, if not completely impossible. BUT it is a good place to start. I made a list of things that I wanted to accomplish and taped them next to my side of the bed. It was a nice little reminder, and it was an even nicer feeling when I began accomplishing some of the things on the list (and I made sure they were both short-term and long-term REACHABLE goals)...now maintaining that...well that's been a whole other story. (ie now I have to make another list)
The point is, don't be so hard on yourself. It's easy to get stressed about all of these things. Choose one or two things...and get on top of them. I find it easiest to start with diet (not dieting, but rather one's eating habits) and then move one to the cleaning out and donating of excess stuff. The better diet gives me energy and I feel better, and organizing things and getting rid of excess...well that's just heaven. These things will hopefully become habits and poof! two less things to concern yourself with.
Or I may just be insane. That's possible too.
Ditto the font size... too small for these old eyes!
Health has to be a priority, for I have just seen the worst of what happens if it isn't.
On the other hand, and this isn't about me, but my life was usually chaotic when I was in my 20s, when I was in my 30s, when I was in my 40s, when I was in my.... oops... and it is in my 50s. The universe is in chaos. A total lack of chaos is unnatural, even in the most mundane of routes through life, which you obviously have not chosen. I hope that when I die (not for another couple of decades), that I leave a little chaos behind!
Your chaotic life helps to stir the spirits and intelects of many others, and that is good. But yes, do take care of yourself and stay healthy enough to do it for a very long time.
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