Postponed

I'm a little sad.

Hello sad, how are you?

For the first time in about five years I will not celebrate my birthday with my twin brother. I was going to, made the plans, was to have dinner with him and my parents in the city on Saturday, but every time I got online to make the arrangements I'd back out before purchasing tickets to get up there. I just couldn't do it.

And yesterday I realized I was too spent to travel what would inevitably be 10 hours to spend 20 hours total in New York (six or so sleeping). And it made me sad, to break with tradition, to miss out on a family event, to pass up the chance to see people I love and miss. But I couldn't do it. I already feel too far behind on too many things.

So I called everyone's cell phones and left these overly-dramatic messages about deciding not to come up. Each time I would break down midway through (I'm not sure why this seemed so tragic to me - it's something about being a cancer and being ridiculously committed to traditions) and then regain my composure and assure them each, "I mean, everything is fine, don't worry, really I'm okay..."

My father called me back first and assured me that everything was fine, we'd celebrate our birthdays later when my brother got back from Germany (yes, I know, tough life).

So, this year our birthday will happen a month late.

Which on some level is appropriate since we were five or so weeks premature.

I've always wondered what my life would have been like as a Leo.

(Hmmm. I just read the Leo profile. I think perhaps I have in fact been leading my life with all of the obsessiveness of a Leo and all of the moodiness of a Cancer. This explains a lot.)