Histrionics III (and then we're done with this. Forever. I promise.)

I know! He got me! The schoolyard bully got me! I am totally reacting, when mom always said not to.

But we are who we are. I used to have these tough as nails girls in elementary school and junior high making all sorts of (ultimately, empty) threats towards me because they'd said some smack about me or a friend and instead of just letting it slide I'd gotten all worked up and shit and said something I shouldn't have said. Let us hope, should it ever come to a life or death situation, I would keep my mouth shut. I think I would. Really, I think I would.

But that final comment! The one that was meant to reallllllyyy rile me up, well, it did, it really did.

Anger is a funny thing. I get this rush of adrenaline, and my hands start shaking, and I literally think I am seeing shades of other colors before my eyes. We have anger management problems in my family. I have wrestled with it for most of my life, with varying degrees of success. When I was young I think I actually enjoyed the rush of giving in to my temper. It was a kind of natural high.

So: Is it any wonder Jewish men aren't into Jewish women??

I read that and the breath went out of me. First of all, what a terrible, bigoted thing to say. Second of all, what a terrible, bigoted thing to say.

And third of all. I am not even Jewish.

I read that, and I was confused for a moment. What does this have to do with anything? What does this have to do with ME?

And then it all came together. He thinks I am that Jewish woman. He is pinning me with some horrible stereotype of Jewish women, and I am not even a Jewish woman.

Owwww. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. And this from a Jewish fella himself, who I am sure, at some time in his life has met with some example of anti-Semitism. And then to pass along that attitude himself?

The assumption is reasonable. Look at my list of recommended reading for chrissake (no pun intended). Malamud? Roth? All jews! (I didn't intend for that, but I am sure there is a reason for it. Yeah, even Salinger is - like me - half jewish (on his father's side) and half Catholic, which of course, according to the laws of maternal lineage, means we are "not jewish".

And there's my last name. If that doesn't sound like it came out of some shtetl somewhere in Eastern Europe (it did) then I don't know what does.

But the irony is, not actually being a Jewish woman has stopped me up more often then ever, ever being pinned as "a Jewish woman". I've dated a lot of Jewish men. Maybe not a lot because I haven't actually dated a lot of men. But at least half of the men I have dated, and exactly half of the men I have had real relationships with have been Jewish. (Italics anyone?)

I don't know if that is coincidence, or an Electra thing, or about what I like to do and the things I like to read and the things that make me laugh (which I think is actually most likely). A lot of the men who make me laugh have happened to be Jewish. And I don't have some Seinfeld-Woody Allen-let's classify all Jewish men as quirky and funny - funny! - and neurotic and idiosynchratic-thing. It has just happened this way.

And so when I thought about SRM's comment, I had to ask, do Jewish men really avoid dating Jewish women? And why would that be?

I got to thinking about my Jewish girlfriends. Gorgeous, all of 'em. Really, all of 'em. That is not just me, as a girlfriend, saying that. I have lovely friends, jew and gentile alike. The friends I am thinking of -- are all so unique as well. There is no blanket statement that can be made about all of them. Really.

M is from Texas, with Mexican roots, and is as spunky and funny as anyone I know, male or female. L has the most delicate, fragile features you can imagine, is all at once forthright and funny, and exquisitely sensitive, and when on stage brings a strength and fire that you can hardly imagine are coming from such a tiny frame. E will talk about anything, say anything, is as upfront and balls out as any of our guy friends, while smart as a whip and incredibly perceptive for her years.

That's just a start. And none of them have any trouble getting dates with any man, Jewish or otherwise.

So, really, I am not sure quite what SRM is getting at. Maybe we should all stop classifying all ANYTHING'S as ANYTHING. The number of blanket statements about men and women, especially, that appear all around the blogging world stuns me. We are all not one thing. Man, woman, Jewish, Catholic, black, white, latino, asian, gay, straight, bi... you can't know all of us by just knowing one. Isn't that the wonder of humanity? The beauty of it all?

I do think that, as with any culture, there is some appeal and temptation in the forbidden. So, yeah, I think some Jewish men are (consciously or otherwise) attracted to someone who is the "other". The whole "Shiksa Goddess" thing.

But ultimately it has to be about more than that. We eventually transcend our roots, and we either feel that we are meant to be with someone, or not. That is what happened with my parents. My father found himself a good Catholic girl, and goy or not, fell in love with her. And thirty-five years later (thirty-five years this weekend!) they have struggled through the lows and highs and made it work.

I was pretty devastated by what SRM wrote, I was. Because it just confirms, we are our own worst enemy. I don't know what kind of personal issues would lead him to make such an anti-Semitic blanket statement about Jewish women, but it is wrong on so many levels.

The funny thing was this morning getting an email from a guy friend in NY who occasionally follows what goes on, on the blog. I thought he was going to react to the statement about Jewish women with the sense of righteous anger that I always appreciate in him. Stand up in defense of zaftig women everywhere (and truly -- I am the most zaftig of any of my friends who are real, honest-to-goodness jews).

The email was actually about my mention of the Black Eyed Peas. Apparently, not so good. Sell outs to the corporate dollar. He gave me some listening recommendations, which I will, indeed, check out.

He is also the one who first had me listening to the Russian, gypsy, punk band Gogol Bordello who are playing in August at the Black Cat. I tried to go to their concert the last time they played there, and they were way over-sold, so I never even made it up to the door. So, order early. Everyone says their live shows are amazing. Go buy tickets. But wait until after I do.