Tantrums and Selective Memory

One final post about last weekend's events. (Maybe).

What is fascinating to hear, twenty years after the fact, were the events that each of us four remembered, and the varying degrees to which we remembered them.

J has spent her young adult life thinking she spent seventh grade in Colorado. The rest of us assured her that she didn't leave until eighth grade. How do we manage to create revisionist history in our own lives like that?

It came up several times throughout the weekend that everyone had pretty distinct memories of my temper and my constant grand-standing. I do too. I can't block those out. And as the weekend progressed I found myself wanting to apologize for being, really, an awfully mouthy and opinionated kid, probably pretty hard to tolerate.

We were eating pizza in Soho, and I bumbled out an apology. "I must have been pretty obnoxious, I'm sorry.." A looked at me, confused. "I get the sense that you want to apologize, but I'm not sure what you are apologizing for." she said. "You were you, and we needed you to be you for us to be us. I just thought that you were strong."

Interesting that I remember all the insecurities and rejections I felt during those times, and they all thought I was "strong".