DC = Mental Health Capital of the US

(see link above)
Are they KIDDING? I swear, there are so many of these "Most Livable Cities" rankings, that eventually they all see to cancel each other out. Just a few months ago DC was #2 on the most dangerous cities list, which really makes me question the perfect 100 score for Mental Health. Or maybe we are all just so glad that we have made it through another day without getting caught in the crossfire of gang warfare that we reach a sort of blissful euphoria? I mean, really, where do they come up with that score? Is it based on the number of people on mood altering drugs? Or determined by surveys about stress levels? Come on, you can not tell me that this city is a universally happy, stable, or even sane city!

For the record, here is my list of top five detractors from mental stability when living in the District of Columbia (in no particular order):

1. Cabs. Can't live with 'em, can't ever find 'em. I have so many points of contention with the DC cabs, that this could be a category of its own. Firstly, you can NEVER, EVER find one when you want one. EVER. Then the mother-friggin zone system. I've been here three years and I still don't get it. Add to that the fact that every cab driver spends the duration of nearly every ride on their cell phone head set, and the whole, "We can stop and pick someone else up if it doesn't take you out of your way" weirdness, and my goodness, you gotta wonder whether maybe rickshaws would work better in this city.

2. Tourists. I won't get into this one. It would be mean. Suffice it to say that come spring time, they're here, they're big, they're slow, they're everywhere. I would make fun of their general state of Metro confusion, but my own mother lost her card when she visited me last fall. How difficult a concept is it? You need the card to get in, you need the card to get out.

3. Speaking of -- the Metro. I don't care that it's clean. I don't care that they tell you when the next train is coming. It doesn't get you where you need to go, and it only runs 'til midnight.

4. Humidity. I moved here in august several years ago. Two years before I'd spent an August in Israel. DC was worse.

5. Finally, oh good god why do all the interns have to come here!!!??? I am sure they are good people, and that some are even concerned about the world and the role they play in it, but they seem to suddenly infest the hill, and they make me feel old and fat and unfashionable, when most of the rest of DC makes me feel just the opposite…

VERY CLOSE LIST RUNNER-UPS:
-DC Rents
-the lack of good Italian restaurants
-Safeway supermarkets
-Adams Morgan on the weekend (where do they all come from!!??)

Having written this post, I feel the need to do a “five things about DC that improve my mental health” list. Give me a few days, I’m sure I can find them.