Does Saying it Make it So?

I just got back from a lunch at the Kennedy Center, given by and for the foundation that funded the fellowship that brought me to DC in the first place.

It is nice to see the people involved, familiar faces, as well as new people - who are involved primarily on the North Carolina based financial end.

I owe them all a lot.

And each of the fellows spoke (I was the only former fellow, the others were current, which officially made me the voice of someone who came, saw, and stayed) and we talked about what projects we had lined up and what we have been doing this year, and I sort of covered the last four years (four years! shit!)

And it sounded worthy and impressive, and I felt as I was finishing that I am totally saying things that I do not believe because right now I just feel confused.

There is a school of acting that teaches you to find a moment from the outside in. To use physicality or a gestural language (the outside) to discover what is happening on a deeper, more inward level (the inside).

This kind of worked for me today. I heard what I was saying and thought, "Hmmm, cool. What an interesting life that person leads...!"

Maybe I just need to talk to myself more.