Credit Card Therapy

I know I am not the only one who does this. Although I think women are probably more prone to it than men. I certainly do not have the level of income that enables me to do it often.

Shopping as therapy.

When I am not feeling good, or right, or content with how things are going with the rest of my life, shopping becomes a bit of a panacea for my doldrums. It is interesting how something that, when my life is a bit more in order can be such a conscious, careful thing for me (that is - spending, or lack thereof) suddenly becomes the thing that might possibly make things all better when the foundation of my world gets ripped out from beneath me.

It won't of course. Make things better. It will just mean credit card bills that I will regret for the next decade.

But money suddenly feels like "the least of my worries". I just want to feel better. And maybe a new belt, or earrings, or a new book, or $20 worth of itunes, will do that. And usually, for a moment at least, I do feel better.

Then I get my next visa bill.

I think this is a phenomenon for our generation - one that eats, breathes and sleeps on credit. I know there are much better ways to heal oneself (exercise, time with friends, yoga, meditation) but there are certainly a slew of more ominous means as well (like ummmm, crank? heroin?) - so that makes me feel a little better.

And I also know that no matter how low I go, I will always seek out the bargains. I can't help myself with that.