Dead Things, Sad Things

Last night my mind wandered to the friend I lost. She is still alive, so it is nothing tragic like premature death – just someone who decided she could no longer be a part of my life, and that I was no longer welcome to be a part of hers for a variety of complicated reasons that even I don’t quite understand. I think about her more frequently than I’d like to.

I’m not sure why that is – if it is truly about missing her friendship or if it is more about the frustration of not being able to do anything about it. I think the latter part of that touches in on my own control issues. I don’t like situations that are completely out of my hands. Who does?

I wonder if she will ever open up her life to me again. I struggle to accept the possibility that she never will.

The only positive I can derive from these feelings is the motivation to make more of an effort to keep the people that I do have in my life, people that I adore and care about, there and present. Those that are far away geographically can easily be lost in the shuffle of everyday busyness and obligations. But they shouldn’t be lost –I shouldn’t let them be. People should always be a priority, never an afterthought.

It’s a resolution I can’t make too often. Step away from the bustle. Make a phone call, or at least write an email. Because once someone is lost, they may never be found.

And for those situations that are out of my hands and the people that I simply must let go of -- let go, let them be, and wish them well on their way in the world.

I am listening to “Dead Things” by Emiliana Torrini. “Sad things have to happen sometimes”.

It seems like an appropriate underscoring for this post.